so that wasnt chicken after all
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
