Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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