the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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