I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm just crazy horny about you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize