We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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