i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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