Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
