weddingsv make me drug and hornr
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
