it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
