This girl is more easily done than said...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
as a side note pls kill me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
