so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
