Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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