I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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