okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
