Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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