Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
