I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
