every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
