Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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