Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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