Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize