so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
