he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize