her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She's the barista slut.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
