Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
