Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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