She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
