He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
3pm strippers are depressing
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
