If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
