Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
