Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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