It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize