holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love having hate sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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