help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I had to cum in my sink.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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