Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
