What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
