What a fucking waste of an outfit
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize