Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just google imaged poop.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
