Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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