I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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