went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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