I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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