OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
