Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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