oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
