Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
