Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
