did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
