i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
