So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
