whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
