if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
