you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
