the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
