I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
