i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
PS: I just woke up from my shower
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
