Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
