yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
