"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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