I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
