we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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