I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
