I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
