the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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