we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
