She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize