I'm so fucking centered right now
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
