she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize