he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
