Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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